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Resolutions . . . Starting New Patterns
Many experts like to trash the concept of New Years Resolutions, saying that they usually fail so why bother. Two things are worth noting: Some people do make their resolutions work and accomplish a lot through them. Secondly: there are good reasons why many Resolutions fail and these problems can be adjusted. Starting a new year is a good time to start some new patterns.
Let’s start with the reason so many fail. Most Resolutions are simple wishes, hopes, dreams, preferences, etc. They do not include specific steps. They do not break the goal down into small parts. There is not a schedule. There is not a support system or plan put in that will make new behavior/feelings more likely than they were before. In fact, there is little different in the first quarter of the New Year from what was going on in the last quarter of the last year. Other than the "statement" that something is going to be different. This is a setup for failure. |
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So let’s look at what happens for the people who get the most out of New Years Resolution. First of all, they put in a great deal of planning for their "change" project. They might spend several weeks, even the entire month of January simply setting up the program. The first Resolution is to resolve to make a plan before starting.
What's in the plan? Well, it starts with an analysis of what has happened to you before, what has worked and what hasn't. It also includes what works for other people. Weight loss is obviously a very common issue. However, one of the most interesting aspects of weight loss attempts are the false assumptions most overweight people make about those who aren't over weight. They believe it is pretty easy for non-overweight people to stay at a healthy weight. The realty is that most have to "work" really hard at it. Of course there are exceptions. But most thin people get a lot of physical activity every week. Maybe they call it exercise, maybe they call it play. But most fit people put in a good ten hours of physical activity per week over three or four sessions at least that gets the heart rate up for periods of time, works muscles against tension, and keeps them limber. These people adjust their schedules and their priorities so these ten hours at least happens almost every week. They play games with their attitudes and perceptions so they keep doing it. For example, I put many miles a week in "walking my dog" but don't ever consider it part of my exercise program. It's my Molly program. "Exercise" occurs elsewhere. It's just a mind trick that makes it easier. What tricks can you play on yourself?
Resolutions that work usually have many small parts to them and have everyday activities that add up. Most successful people stopping smoking find that daily exercise makes a huge difference. Almost every day should have something that is part of your plan, some ways to succeed. But many people also benefit from having a day off where they totally ignore their goal. World class runners usually take at least one day a week off. You decide what works. Adjust.
Successful plans usually have a mix of fairly large parts and also a mix of small parts. Large might be walking for an hour. Small might be always taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Give yourself many daily chances to succeed. Maybe yesterday was a bad day of eating but today was a great day of eating right.
Give yourself small rewards for accomplishing parts of your goals. Experiment with what works and makes a difference.
Another common pattern is to find support from people who make it more likely you succeed. Sure, you could (or "should") walk every day on your own. But it's not likely to happen if you are honest. Or, it will simply be easier to do it with some companions at the YWCA. Don't make everything so hard. Make it easier. Having very high standards for what you ought to be able to do can actually stop you from success. Expect and plan for your own weaknesses. Create plans that work around your own weaknesses and make them less important. Admit them. Make them irrelevant. Play games with yourself so you get around them. Don't wait to get "perfect."
Ask for the exact kind of support that works. Be specific. Give examples. Let them work up to doing it right. Don't attack them for not supporting. Teach them to support. Ask people to stop doing things that sabotage you. Be specific and non-attacking. Ask them to do something that does work. Maybe "nothing" is best from some of them. Spend more time around people that are good influences.
Look for tools that will help you on your program. These can include my programs but also other materials, books, classes, even software programs.
SUCCESSWORLD programs to consider
Of course you will want to use the SuccessWorld programs that most fit the goal you are working on. I suggest using about three programs that have something to do with your goal. Alternate them some. For your NEW YEARS Plan you should consider using the Goal Setting tape. It has a daily program that can really structure your program and keep you on track. Set listening schedules of SuccessWorld programs right into your weekly schedule.
Keep track of your program. Keep a notebook. Track your activities. Make adjustments and collect more data. Look for patterns that tell you something. Adjust again.
The SuccessWorld programs can make a big difference in your ability to achieve your NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS and stick to them.
I hope you have great SUCCESS!
David Illig
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