Yes, the holidays are coming again this year….
I wish you all healthy, healing holidays with as much joy and happiness as is possible given what you are dealing with. Sometimes we forget that the holidays are extremely difficult for some people and not the pure enjoyment that the media presents. These people need to be very loving and supportive of themselves through these times of celebration. The holidays can still be a blessing, but of a different nature. Some adjustments just need to be made. Allow the flexibility that allows the holidays to enrich and heal.
I greatly appreciate your use of my downloads and CD’s and letting your friends and family know about these resources. These programs can be a gift of a lifetime. They do keep on giving.
This month I want to talk about the key role that PERMISSION plays in personal growth, change, and healing. When we are striving for something that seems so obviously positive, it is easy to assume that of course our internal systems have “permission” for the change we desire. This seems even more obvious for such things as illness, depression, pain, failure, etc.
However, even for the most desirable aspects, or for removing the most painful problems, we must not assume that permission is a given. In fact, it is exactly likely that permission does not exist at the deepest level. Furthermore, working on establishing permission at the deepest levels can sometimes be one of the most important steps in creating change.
What do I mean by levels? I am talking about the ranges of awareness and of brain and mind functioning. At the most conscious level, thinking level, cognitive level, we almost always have permission for what we say is best for us. However, your use of my programs already suggests that you are aware that the human mind operates at more than the aware thinking level. We operate at subconscious levels that are often out of awareness. It is at these other levels that often permissions do not exist even though the conscious mind does have permission.
How can this be? Well, the human being is made up of more than one mind, and even made up of more than one subconscious mind. It’s most helpful to assume that we are made up of multiple subconscious minds that need to be addressed.
I’m not talking about multiple personality disorder, MPD, (now called dissociative disorder) which is where the inner aspects of the mind are drastically separated and often working at cross-purposes.
However, normal humans can be seen as being made up of a group of selves that make up the single person. We’re a group that works together more or less well. Seeing ourselves as being made of a variety of selves can give us some huge advantages in terms of our growth and well being. “Becoming healthy” then becomes getting our varied selves to work together as a very effective team rather than for us to become “one-person” through and through. In fact, the model of a single self is very limiting and goes against our life experience. It is, however, the most popular view simply because it simplifies things and doesn’t scare us as much.
A simple example is of the CEO of a huge corporation who gets severe speech anxiety in front of a group of employees. Its not the rich, powerful, confident, intelligent man who knows that he is really in no danger that gets anxiety and panic. It’s not the adult CEO. The reaction doesn’t even make sense to the adult CEO mind. The aspect of this man that gets terrified is a different aspect. Its more likely a little boy aspect who does believe that he is going to die, that he will be unloved and rejected, that he really can’t survive a talk. For this “self” the terror and anxiety makes sense. It’s not crazy.
It’s also this part of the man that needs the help, not the CEO adult side. If the support, education, protection, etc. is directed to the little boy part of self, then the intervention fits and it will likely get a response. And obviously, the nature of the help that makes a difference to the little boy is very different than what makes sense to the adult CEO. How we talk to that part is very different. How might you encourage and reassure an 8-year-old that he could be safe? Or maybe the 8-year-old needs to be taken out of the stage so he isn’t even participating but does believe he is safe while the CEO takes the flak?
So a more useful question might be to ask what part of us is anxious and afraid? What part of us needs some help here? And what kind of help does that part need to make a difference? Or how can I get a different part of myself to the front and get different parts to go to a safe place in the back? But not left there forever.
If we see ourselves as made up of a fairly large group of co-existing parts that have different needs and concerns, then we can see that it will be important that the various parts need Permission to succeed at our goals.
You can already guess that the Permissions probably need to be different for the different parts. What may seem healthy and good to an adult self may be terrifying to a young child part. Furthermore, even different adult selves might not have permissions that allow achievement.
Some parts of our self may believe that it would be against some “RULE” to succeed at our goal. For example, some part of us might believe that money is dangerous and that we cannot have much safely. This “rule” may have come from family teachings or simply misunderstandings. A child can strongly internalize a statement from Grandma that says: “You’ll never be as successful as your sister.” And after your sister dies at age 18 there isn’t much room for success. Nobody bothered to communicate to that part that it could let go. But such a part can be strong and can stop progress.
A child part of a woman can believe that sex is “dirty” and “dangerous.” If she enjoys it, she is “bad.” The adult doesn’t believe this at all. But she ends up in conflict unless she resolves the different positions. She needs to obtain permissions from the child. Or at least acceptance of an important difference between an adult and child. It’s yucky for a kid but great for an adult.
Sub-parts of our selves can believe in many things that would seem to be totally “crazy” or irrational to other parts of ourselves. That’s one reason they often even hide the fact that they have a different believe or lack permission. They get no respect from other, more mature parts.
So what to do with this discovery? Believe me, accepting your self, as being made up of parts will give you much more resources, understanding, and power. It won’t harm you if you make it an asset and work with it. We tend to shy away from this realty because we are afraid of it, not realizing it is a treasure and resource. Our culture pretends people are unitary while everyone inside knows they themselves are more a group. So one of the permissions I am giving you is to work with yourself as a group of selves, and do this without embarrassment. You can become a wonderful team working together.
So with whatever goal you are working on, add a focus on getting permissions to all of your sub selves that might play a role. Take in the teaching, reassurance, support, experiences, new philosophies, etc. that would bring permission. Sometimes all that is necessary is telling a part that it can let go of an old rule and can adopt a new one. Just telling the part that it can have permission to achieve some goal can make a difference. Showing a part it can be safe in achieving a goal often allows new permissions. You could imagine a man might be blocked from business success if an inner part of his believes such success would stop him from being able to roll on the floor and play with the puppy. Or that part believes he will abandon the family like their “successful” dad.
So within your hypnosis and subliminal sessions, focus on getting permissions to all your inner parts. Encourage your inner parts to communicate where they stand on permissions. Respect their position and listen first instead of attacking. You must first accept a position before you can change it. It made sense at the time and from some perspective. You can assume that lack of permission was serving some important function. At least the belief of something important. So first start with respect for the old permission and then strive to shift to a new position. Show how a new position of permission will be safer and better than the old. Show how at a higher level the old position may be harmful.
Use creative approaches that include all of the senses, not just thinking. Create stories, metaphors, pictures, and feelings that allow permissions to sink into different parts. And frequently check in with inner parts to communicate both their agreement and disagreement. Don’t be afraid of disagreement. Invite it out to work on it.
Often, even if you can’t get a part to change its position, just acknowledging its position and existence can reduce its impact. It can just move aside and into the background and allow you to move forward. It will come along later or agree to disagree respectfully.
So imagine permissions soaking into the alls of you. Image permissions going to all parts of you back through all time. Imagine your “success” becoming safe to all parts. Imagine assuring your selves that your success will be made safe for all the parts. For example, the playful little boy can receive assurance that he will have time and space even if you become a powerful executive. And make sure you keep your word. The little girl can learn that loving healing sexuality is good for all of you as an adult woman.
You can also ask for signs that let you know that the parts are on board. Some people can make very good use of such “conversations.” You might just ask that a finger move by itself if a certain part is in agreement and giving permission. Some people can make great use of such signal systems. Other people can’t achieve such aware communications and have to take it more on faith or more subtle communications.
The subliminal messages on all the programs have a permission component. Some examples are: “I have permission to win.” “Winning is safe.” “I can love myself.” “I have permission to be beautiful.” For even more effectiveness, you can create lists of your own and add them to your sessions. And focus some different permissions to different parts of yourself. Meditate on your “permissions” periodically throughout the day.
“I have permission to benefit from these programs….. I have permission to learn…… I have permission to connect with my unconscious mind. ……I have permission to change my life. I have permission to heal in all my parts and inner selves…. I have permissions to learn new things……. I have permission to be happier…… I have permission to be healthier…… I have permissions to heal. ….I have permissions to connect with my inner parts that need me….. And on and on…… to more and more permissions….and the parts of me that lacked permissions…… can move up to a higher and higher level….. to see and sense ……where permissions are possible….. and to see the ways that old blocks and barriers can let go safely….and have the healthy safe permissions that allow me to achieve my goals and a higher level of health and well being……. And feel permission from the universe at its highest level…….. “
………..and thanks for listening………Best to you……in all ways.
Dr. David Illig